Getting yourself back to ether after a divorce can be one of the hardest things around. After all, you’re trying to pick up the pieces from a situation that you never thought would happen to you. Even though the rising divorce rate brings people pause, we still walk down the aisle. We still believe in the best that people have to offer. We believe in love conquering everything…until it doesn’t. We’re not trying to sound bitter, or even to throw your marriage in your face. All you can do is try to pick up the pieces. One area that gets neglected far too often would have to be the financial. Indeed, without having your money in order you can’t really move on. Just about everything that you really need to focus on is going to cost you money. There’s no getting around it, and you can’t hide from it. You’re going to be tempted to ignore all of the bills, but this isn’t the way to go either.
First and foremost, you need to sit down and gain some clarity about your situation. Just how much money is in the bank? How much money did you get entitled to? Do you have maintenance coming in? Child support? Do you get to take the investment account that you started with? What about any gains? Were those equally split down the middle? If you’re in the middle of negotiating these things, Don’t just let your partner have everything. You might feel tired and sick, but the reality is that you need to fight for a way to start over. That’s all it’s about at the end of the day. Divorce hurts, but being able to start over is really going to give you a chance to feel better over time. It’s going to hurt for a long time, but you have to make sure that you can give yourself a chance for a better life than what you had. You just can’t do that if you give your partner everything. A lot of people do this in order to feel extra sympathy from family and friends. Sympathy just isn’t going to pay our bills, and it’s certainly not going to take care of your when you’re old. Sure, the government will be there to do a few things but that doesn’t mean that they’re going to do everything. Being aware of what’s around the corner is a very good thing no matter if you’re a man or a woman.
The budget will probably have to be different when you’re going from two incomes to one. If you can help it, it’s time to cut out all of the things that you used to spend money on. A lot of people hate doing this, but it’s really the best thing that you can do for yourself. You really don’t want to find that you can’t move on because you’re too busy racking up debt. If you’re used to going out to eat, you might want to stay at home. Dining out is expensive and it cuts into the other plans that you have for your life. This is the same with buying clothes. There’s nothing wrong with going to a secondhand shop to check out some cheap items. You might not wear designer clothing, but you’ll have a bank account that’s full of emergency cash.
You have to get better and better at anticipating emergencies. That’s really the best way to go when you’re trying to start over. Emergencies can be prevented when you have savings, but you have to make sure that you start saving. A lot of people brush this advice off, then cry themselves to sleep at night wishing that they had followed these simple words. Saving money isn’t the end of the world. Although it might feel like you’re depriving yourself, you are actually giving yourself the chance at a real future. What could be better than that?
There’s no way around the emotional heartache, but you don’t have to let your finances go crazy. If you were awarded the house, you need to make sure that you can take care of the maintenance. If you were awarded a car, then you need to make sure that the car is kept up properly. If you can put bills on autopay so you don’t have to think about them, this might be a good idea.
Speaking of emotional heartache, one of the worst things that you can do is try to get back at your new ex. You don’t want to focus on them. Don’t call them up, don’t scream at them and don’t make your mutual friends have to pick sides. This is just uncomfortable for all parties involved. Once the anger clears, you will hate having acted in such a tacky and childish manner.
Credit cards will need to be paid for. If you can’t make payments, don’t try to wait till the last minute. Trust us — credit card companies have heard just about everything that you can possibly think of. They’re used to it. So there’s no need to hide until the final moments — you can let them know ahead of time that you’re having problems. If you were a great customer before, you’re still going to be a good customer in their eyes. It’s just a matter of moving things around a little bit.
If you have children, then it’s definitely time to be honest with them. Cutting back spending might not make you the most beloved parent for a while, but it’s necessary in order to protect their quality of life. That’s what really matters. Being able to give your children something that they can truly value is very important.
You might feel like it’s too much at once. That’s why you shouldn’t be reviewing your finances alone. Get a qualified financial adviser. They are obligated to give you the best advice that they can possibly giver you. Even though there might be a fee in many cases, its money well spent when you really don’t know which move you need to make next. They acne sit down and help you rework your financial blueprint. If you’re someone that has never really thought about finances before, then they will be more than happy to work out a financial blueprint for you for the first time. It’s really not as big of a deal as you might think.
The time is now to claim your life in every form — emotional, spiritual and yes, financial as well. That’s all you can do. And when the hurt fades a little, you’ll be able to move on and date other people. Of course, you’ll want to make sure that you can still focus on your finances, as bringing someone new into your life can throw everything off again. Good luck!